The renaissance of daktari khalwale

 

 

 

Image result for pictures of bonny khalwale
Dr Bonny Khalwale,who has an infamous medical degree and Dr William ,who is burdened with a doctoral degree in animal whatever.Shaking hands at a non-necessary event attended by other busybodies.

Doctor Bonny Khalwale is one very stingy politician, so stingy is this politician that he cannot expend his creative energy to think. Otherwise how do you make sense of the fact that he is planning to be the next governor yet he is aligning himself to the deputy president? Even an amateur political scientist will tell you that is a shit move. He is also a comedian, don’t you all remember the train wreck that was his campaign to be a governor. He coerced us to become audience to this political circus in 2017 when he was campaigning against the indomitable Oparanya to become the chief executive officer of Kakamega County. We have to give Bonny the props. That campaign was funny leave alone the pipe dream that he was harboring romantic idea of drubbing Oparanya in an election competition.

Plus Bonny has cultivated this stinking reputation of zigzagging between principles to the point that it is becoming increasingly difficult to even contemplate if Bonny has any principles ,he has persistently exhibited skills and talents that are symptomatic of a failing a politician. A wooden politician who is clutching at straws, of course before his handful of supporters start mudslinging and lynching me on twitter, I cannot underscore the political talent and shtick of Bonny to rabble rouse.I begrudgingly accept that Bonny is a rabble rouse to a tee whose contemporaries include Moses Kuria and Ngunjiri Kimani from Nakuru. The common thread among the above-mentioned political leaders (sic) is that they spew unvarnished statements and won’t practice a whit of hesitation to think before speaking, they are connoisseurs of careless utterances the negative ramifications of those statements notwithstanding. The three, are classic examples of way men cannot multitask, it is either they think or speak, but they are incapacitated to do both Anyway back to Bonny and his baffling renaissance of political metamorphosis from Ruto bashing to become a lyrical court poet of Dr Ruto, a man he had heretofore claimed that was a prince of corruption. But this is a case of two doctors, one having an infamous medical degree and another one possessing a doctoral degree in animal whatever.

We have to agree that the way Dr bonny executes his brand of politics is an unorthodox because what reason and/or explanation can you employ to explain why every electioneering year he shifts from one political party to another, then after elections he wrecks the party from within and chafes at the leadership of the party which sponsored him to afford a political seat. But we also have to acquiesce to the fact that it is way better to have Khalwale busy politicking in parliament than having him taking breakfast at different television stations in the morning in the guise of analyzing political issues. The latter in an exercise in wastage of political talents and skills, but we also have to admit that our God is a fair God, and there is no way he would grant Bonny, talent of shouting and also grant him talent in resource planning and initiation of political projects. Nooo, there is no way the good Lord could do that.

Advertisements

AM BACK BITCHESS!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for CARTOON PICTURES OF A COUPLE QUARRELINGThe last time I practiced creative writing William Ruto was still struggling to finish his thesis, their romance with Kenyatta (11) was at a tipping point. I got drained, the rat race to be a paper-pusher in a small rural NGO zapped my writing energy and raging hormones compounded the situation even further. I focused on making money to take care of my girlfriend’s insatiable appetite for expensive clothes and boxes of chocolates. She is now an ex.That was one year wasted chasing romance at the expense of sharpening my writing skills. My writing took a beating as I was busy going down on her, pubic hair were permanently stuck in my teeth, I consigned to the dustbin of neglect my writing practice while my oral sex skills were shooting through the roof. I completely stopped writing and reading. I only read lush stories to improve and learn the ropes of sucking female genitalia and different clockwise and anticlockwise movement of rubbing the clit.I stopped reading well written stories on Washington Post and the New Yorker, analyzing political analyses did not fill my boat anymore. Writing was my first love and my professional expertise was tanking, before meeting this daughter of Satan the cousin to Queen Jezebel. I used to commit strictly to this routine of writing two articles a day, all this were put on ice as I am a man and we are inherently not accustomed to multitasking. I was not in capacity to perform all shades of oral sex and write at the same time. I had to pick a struggle, and without the benefit of hindsight or foresight I elected to concentrate on oral sex.BUT AM BACK NOW ,BACK WITH GUSTO AND CREATIVE ENERGY COUPLED WITH THE FACT THAT AM CHANNELING MY NEGATIVE ENERGY BORNE FROM THE UGLY BREAK-UP TO CREATIVE ENERGY.

WEIRD ELECTION SYSTEMS

We are grousing insistently about how our election system is not above-board and how easy it is to manipulate election results to favor a particular candidate. I took a break from my favorite pastime of staring at posterior of women on the Gram and decided to research about different election systems around the world and cherry-pick those I thought were weird.

a) VATICAN CITY ELECTION SYSTEM; The pope is elected by the college of cardinals, the college of cardinals main role is to advise the pope on matters governance of the catholic church and its members consist of officials of the roman curia and archbishops of major sees from around the world and others chosen at the pleasure of the pontiff, cardinals hold office for ever once named. During the election of pope cardinals travel to Rome for the occasion. When Pope dies the College of Cardinals become the caretaker administration .The college of cardinals meet after 15 days to elect the pope, they are locked up in the Sistine Chapel until they elect a pope from among themselves. During the meeting the cardinals are sworn to utmost secrecy and are not allowed to communicate with the outside world. If one of the cardinals receives two-thirds of the vote ten we have a pope and the ballot papers are burned and released through the chimney.

b) GAMBIA; In Gambia they elect their president using marbles ,okay take a moment let that sink in, yes marbles. This system was introduced in the 1960s occasioned by high level of illiteracy in the country. Clear-glass marbles are cast in iron –made drums which are ballot boxes. Each candidate competing for a political seat has the ballot box painted in his own unique color and party symbol or photograph. When a marble is dropped in the ballot box(drum) of the voters preferred candidate ,the marble hits a bell whose sound clearly indicates to the audience that a vote was cast. The counting process is even more interesting, the marbles are placed in special trays with either 200 or 500 holes to enable for quick and easy counting. The plus for this system is that it is affordable and does not involve convoluted procurement processes of voting materials and it is hard to rig elections.

c) EGYPT COPTIC CHURCH; The Coptic church in Egypt election of their leader involves a blind-folded five year old boy. When the sitting Coptic Pope dies, an acting pope is appointed to oversee the church temporarily until the papal election is held. During the election a list of three candidates are selected, the candidates must have served as monks for 15 years and aged 40 years above. The names of the three are written on separate pieces of paper and a blind-folded five year old boy is told to pick a piece of paper from the three it is believed the boy is guided by hand of God.

druggie

We always take free will for granted, the free will to choose whether to support the powers that be or the opposition, the free will to make love to your wife or mistress. Free will to champion the policies of reconstructed communists or to chafe at the policies advanced by reconstructed capitalists. But there is a drug that is grown in Colombia that will completely deny you the free will once it is administered to you or you are exposed to it. Scopolamine colloquially referred to as the (THE DEVIL’S BREATH) wipes the victim memory and handicaps the use of free will in making decisions.
The Devils Breath can be blown in the face of the intended victim and within minutes the person is under the mercy of the drug effects. The drug is odourless and tasteless making it extremely easy to administer to susceptible victims. One gram of Scopolamine is similar to a gram of cocaine but it is worse than anthrax .According to the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology, the drug also known as Hyoscine-causes the same memory loss as Diazepam.
Effects on Victims
Due to the drug chemical makeup, the drug induces powerful hallucinations that can cause a victim to commit suicides. Victims recounted horror stories about the effect of the drugs. The drug turns people into complete zombies with no reasoning capability. The drug once administered blocks memories from forming, so even after the effects of the drug wears off the victim struggles to recollect what happened to them. The drug is highly effective since it takes less than two minutes for the victim to be drugged once exposed.
The drug simplicity in being administered also adds to its impeccable reputation of being a lethal drug, it can be blown in the face of the victim or ingested in food or beverages since it is tasteless. Some of the victims of the drug have been sexually molested, forced to hand their property to strangers they met a few minutes ago, withdraw cash from their bank accounts or in worse situation donated a body organ. The drug does not affect the victims coherency but it denies them the free will, the victim can communicate effectively once under the effect of the drug.
The drug is extracted from Borrachero tree, which is common in Colombia, the tree blooms with deceptively white and yellow flowers. A textbook case that reinforces the cliché about all that glitters is not gold

rules are for ugly people

IMMORALITY ACT, 1927,To prohibit illicit carnal intercourse
Between Europeans and natives and
Other acts in relation thereto.

Be it enacted by the King’s Most Excellent Majesty, the Senate and the House of Assembly of the union of South Africa, as follows:
• Any European male who has illicit carnal intercourse with a native female, and any native male who has illicit carnal intercourse with a European female….shall be guilty of an offence and liable on conviction to imprisonment for a period not exceeding five years.
• Any native female who permits any European male to have illicit carnal intercourse with her and any European female who permits any native male to have illicit carnal intercourse with her shall be guilty of an offence and liable on conviction to imprisonment for a period not exceeding four years.
I came across this law while reading Trevor Noah’s BORN A CRIME (make appoint of reading that book instead of reading other persons Facebook status).The law was used in South Africa during the apartheid era to hamstrung intermarriage or sexual relations between Europeans and the natives of south Africa. The law got me thinking about other ambiguous and discriminatory laws that were used to subjugate Africans during the colonial era, What is more annoying is that some of these laws were retained post-independence and are still being used by the powers that be.
Laws inherited from colonial governments and chiefly used within the jurisprudence of local government municipalities, under local government act. The act was repealed when municipalities were repealed with the promulgation of the 2010 constitution. These laws were consequently adopted by the county governments.
1925 VAGRANCY AMMENDMENT) ORDINANCE: RESTRICTED MOVEMENT OF AFRICANS AFTER 6PM, especially if they were lacking a registered address. This law post –independence morphed into the Vagrancy act which was repealed in 1997.The vagrancy act inspired the public ordinance act which restricted movement of Africans. It was meant to deter people from soliciting sexual favours at night from prostitutes.
WITCHRAFT ORDINANCE OF 1925:IT FORMED THE BASIS OF WHICH of the witchcraft act, it outlawed any practises that were deemed uncivilised by colonial standards.it frustrated Africans especially in Nyanza to carry out their cultural practises which the colonialists had a dim view of and considered them acts of witchcraft.
MUTHAIGA RULES: allowed white townships to control and police public space, which was a clever way to restrict the presence and movement of Asians and Africans to the suburbs, which was considered the exclusive of whites and it was out of bounds for non-whites.
These are just but a few of rules that were primarily tailor-made to stifle and strip off civil liberties d

TRUMPMERICA!!!

Pentagon and state department officials expressed their objections about the inclusion of Chad in president’s Trump recent travel restrictions list. As reported by New York Times, the officials pointed out that Chad is one of Americas reliable and dependable allies in fighting terrorism in Africa and imposing travel ban on the country will have the attendant twin consequences of hamstringing efforts to fight terrorists and back-tracking security interests.
Officials were confused at the inclusion of Chad to the list and Embassy officials intimated that they were trying to find reasons and possible justifications why Chad was included in the travel restriction list. At the Pentagon, officials expressed with clarity their objections to inclusion of Chad to the list decrying that years of collaborative work between U.S and Chad will be jeopardized by the inclusion of Chad in the blacklisted list without taking into account the long-term interests in the region.
The President when announcing the latest travel restriction which has been hailed as a vast improvement compared to the previous two, said that “Chad does not adequately share public safety and terrorism-related information and fails to satisfy at least one key risk criterion.” Lt-Gen H.R McMaster acknowledged the disharmony within the administration over the inclusion of Chad in the banned list and intimated the possibility of reversing the decision.
Africa experts have also lended their thoughts about the binary messages from Trump administration departments over inclusion of Chad, they claimed that even if the travel ban on Chad is lifted, the travel ban is likely to have a negative long-term impact.
This confusion over the treatment of a key U.S ally on combating terrorism sends the message that the United States cannot be trusted as a reliable partner ,”said Monde Muyangwa,of Africa Program at The Woodrow Wilson International Centre for Scholars.
Officials in N’Djamena, the capital of Chad issued a tightly written statement that conveyed their shock and misapprehension about the reasons for blacklisting Chad, yet Chad has demonstrated commitment in abetting terrorism in the region.

AMATEUR POLITICS

Embakasi East Member of parliament was in his element yesterday during the swearing in of the 12th parliament. His penchant for the spotlight is un-paralleled and as a consummate opportunist he could not miss the chance to trend on twitter.
When he was taking his oath of office, as expected, he disregarded the instructions offered by the clerk of the National assembly by swearing allegiance to Raila Odinga and not president –elect Uhuru Kenyatta.The national assembly clerks had to force him to retake his oath in the formatted manner. As a person who was privileged to witness Babu Owino true element when he was a career student leader at the University of Nairobi, I was less surprised by his antics.
Twitter erupted after that swearing in fiasco, the opposition sympathizers were excited and full of euphoria that Babu Owino had shown the president the middle finger and validated their sentiments about the recent concluded general election. The other side of the political aisle chastened the youthful MP lack of professional decorum. They postulated that as a leader he should be professional and exhibit good character and not to utter inelegant comments.
One twitter user @ahmedsalims scrawled on his timeline ‘’I am disappointed and disgusted with how people take an oath as a joke. It may be funny Babu Owino, but you are taking an oath in God’s name” ‘Apparently the above user was stewing with righteous indignation and he felt it necessary to sit on amoral high stool and expend his holy energy religion technical know-how by lecturing Babu Owino on the dogmas of religion.
The fact that Babu Owino was unprofessional in neither here nor there, since parliament is not synonymous with professionalism .I feel the floodgate of condemnation was unwarranted and Babu is in good company. The level of emotional intelligence in that parliament befits the likes of Owino, Plus as a country we should not worship political correctness to the point of it hamstringing our capacity to question the excesses of the government.
The virulent political correctness that is celebrated, appreciated and encouraged in African societies has limited our skills to confront political leadership whenever it commits policy mistakes. We pussyfoot and skirt around issues only asking soft-ball questions and back-pedal when we are supposed to ask sticky questions and demand that people be held accountable. I think the likes of Babu are heralding a new era where we are comfortable with disregarding political correctness. But I may be wrong and you are right, don’t be political correct point my mistakes out.

SECESSION PROTEST

The Anglophones in a predominantly English speaking Cameroon have been agitating for secession and championing calls for equal rights.
As reported by Reuters ,English speakers in a country that predominantly speak French took to the streets early Friday to express their lamentations about equal rights and also demand that the two English –speaking regions secede from Cameroon if their demands are not satisfied.
The two English-speaking regions account for 15% of the country’s total population or approximately 3.6 million of the country’s. This is protest is not unprecedented as they have previously gone to picket expressing complaints about political and economic discrimination, in the previous demonstration police killed six protesters and arrested a hundred more .Lawyers and teachers were at the forefront to agitate for reforms. The government responded to the previous protest by shutting down the internet, a response that stymied business and was chastened internationally.
This latest protest was the largest and more widespread and came against the backdrop of a bomb blast that wounded three policemen in the Northwest region capital of Bamenda.

In Buea, which is the capital of the Southwest Region, protesters took down a national flag outside a police station and proceeded to hoist the blue and white striped flag of ‘Ambazonia’, a name of the Anglophone territory.
“We need independence .We need to be free, we are Ambazonians, “said Emmanuel Che, one of the protesters.” The only solution to this matter is let the government solve by giving our independence”
.Government spokesperson response to the protest is a clear testification that the protest are becoming increasingly bothersome to President Paul Biya government, President Biya has ruled Cameroon for 35 years and at the time of the protest he was at the United Nations General Assembly.
“We are faced with a proper terrorist organization,” Government spokesman Bakary said of the protestors.

WAGING WARS ON CIVIL SOCIETIES

Governments in Africa have not demonstrated hospitality to criticism especially countries that are ruled by despots and strong men, who have zero respect to human rights and freedoms. Strong men who are deluded that the presence of civil societies and affording their citizens unlimited human rights and freedoms poses threat to them having unfettered access to abuse power to their undue advantage. That is why it is staple, to be audience to horror stories of journalists being persecuted and killed or their families threatened.

Presidents direct their errand boys and court poets in parliaments to birth legislation that will frustrate the efficient functioning of civil societies by starving civil societies off donor funds or introducing cap limits to amount of funds a civil society can receive from donors. The funds cap limit is very low thus limiting how efficacious the efforts of that Non-Governmental Organization. Lack of funds handicaps the efficient functioning of civil societies and renders them useless unless they compromise their principles and mission statements and walk lock-step with the demands of the powers that be and divorce offering critique of the government from their list of core responsibilities.

Other governments employ clandestine instruments to wage assault on NGOs; the government creates an NGO Coordination board that is used to frustrate NGOs that seem to criticize the methods of governance in that particular country. Whenever a particular NGO demonstrates  reticence to turn a blind eye to injustices like extra-judicial killings and is expressly in demonstrating or highlighting misgivings that the powers that be is committing.

For example an NGO that is committed to asking sticky questions about the ineptitude the government has demonstrated in fighting corruption that is pervasive in state corporations.Any NGO that is highly critical of the government procurement process and demands that transactions in government institutions be conducted in a transparent manner and not shrouded in opacity or couched in legalese nuance that is beyond the comprehension of a common citizen. Then the NGO co-ordination board will use multiplicity of tools to either intimidate the NGO to abandon their quest of critiquing the way in which governments transactions are conducted or financially handicap that particular NGO and render it to a shell. After the National co-ordination board is done with that particular NGO,that NGO will look like it has been hit with the wrath of GOD.

 

The tribulations that is currently facing the Kalonzo Musyoka foundation is not unprecedented and sadly we are witnessing the metamorphosis in the functioning and roles of the co-ordination board, now it is being used to fight political wars and sully the reputations of political competitors of the establishment.

The government should exercise tolerance of divergent opinions and be accommodating of criticism. Criticism is a conduit in which concerned individuals seek deeper clarification about policy issues and/or question the feasibility of policy instruments that are being used to indemnify a particular policy. The government should appreciate the positive impact of constructive criticism and not have a dim view of critics as people who excited by the prospect of thrashing government initiatives or guns-for-hire contracted by western donors to influence regime change.

STEP-FATHER.

I was raised by a single-parent, my mother always stressed the values of hard work, honesty, humility and most important the fear of the God. These values acted as guideposts in our household and informed any decision-making process. Involvement of multiplicity of voices with diverse perspectives improves quality of decision making, and this was highly regarded in our home. We did not hesitate to seek and secure the counsel of each member of the household before making a decision. The opinion of every member of the household was valued, appreciated and cherished.

This succinctly sums up how tight and close we were with each other in our home, then as fate would have it my mother fall in love with this guy  he met at a gamblers anonymous meeting where she was volunteering her set of skills as a counselor.

He was a con-artist and a master of allaying suspicion, he charmed his way into my mum’s heart he moved into our house at night bearing nothing but a man purse that contained a blueprint on how to be an annoying chauvinistic pig, the following morning he was introduced to us as our step-father. We sat at the breakfast table staring at this guy with smug faces and as we were conditioned we immediately voiced our concerns about mum dating a person struggling with gambling and of questionable character. We cautioned mum that she was rushing things and that she should exercise self-control and seek deeper clarity of issues before committing to this guy.

Rationality was dimmed with sentimentality, emotion triumphed over reason our mothers judgement was clouded with love. Mum insisted that he made her happy and we should be an effective support system that will encourage and support this relationship instead of using the freedom of speech she has afforded us to torpedo this blossoming love relationship. We grudgingly accepted to support this toxic relationship for the sake of mum happiness despite our reservations and negative assessment of his character.

Mother’s boyfriend was the opposite of every Hoosier values our household upheld and he expressed his lack of enthusiasm to solicit for opinions before decision making but was willing to supplant my mother’s authority and run roughshod with our household procedures. He was unemployed and demonstrated his willingly unwillingness to seek work but was happy to use our mum’s money to finance his addictions. Mum gave him the benefit of doubt, and urged us to give him time to kick his bad habits since it takes time, patience and temperament to get weaned off gambling. We gave that loser nothing and hatched a plan to get rid of him for good especially when he degenerated to battering mum.

Hate is an understatement to describe our sentiment towards this person, my siblings and I shared extreme dislike for him and we developed mutual hatred for this character that was only using our mother for sex and not valuing her at all. He was an unrepentant misogynist who used every opportunity to needle my mother and accused her of affording us excessive freedom, he stressed that us being girls we were expected by society to be submissive and not have this wide latitude to express our opinions.

He made a habit of coming home with a bottle of South Comfort Liqueur and drinking it while watching replays of soccer matches on satellite television he had no idea how much it cost mum to maintain it.He was munching on fish fingers while critiquing every soccer player he deemed was not measuring up to his standards. We mulled the idea of poisoning his drink, this idea was mooted by our last-born who was a pharmacist student at a local university and she could easily procure poison. We deliberated over the idea then dispensed with it since we did not want a dead body sprawled on our couch .glazed eyes staring at a premier league match.